Please, Please Don't Leave Me
by lalakkaayy
Summary: Jace never knew what it was like for Alec when he died. Curiosity decided to get him asking, Alec's answer had him comforting. .Oneshot.


A/N: I've been wanting to write some Mortal Instruments fanfiction for a while now and I have a couple of ideas, but they're still in the process. One of the amazing people I follow on tumblr had a random want for some Jalec fluff so I figured I could go for that since I didn't have any other ideas popping up right away. I did my best, I have a tendency to go more toward angst when I try to write fluff, but I think I got some actual fluff in there. Hope it's alright :) –Kay.

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><p>Jace was all about being back in Idris, it was a nice place, and it felt a hell of a lot more like home than being in New York did, but this whole 'extra training' camping trip out of city limits thing was totally bogus. On the bright side, the girls and boys on the trip weren't allowed to share tents and were on completely opposite sides of the field, which gave him some space from Clary. They seemed to be butting heads a lot lately and he was just getting annoyed. They bickered like they really were brother and sister these days. She spent her time with Isabelle lately, him spending his time with Alec.<p>

He was actually thankful for the fact that he and Alec had ended up having to share a tent. They were parabatai and that would always be the way things were, but it seemed for a while that they were drifting apart, Jace being with Clary and Alec being with Magnus –which Jace still didn't really like for some reason- but since coming to Idris and agreeing to do this training retreat they had started growing back together again, though there still was some kind of tension between them, but it wasn't a bad kind of tension. At least Jace didn't seem to think so. On one of the patrols that the two of them had been sent on the other day Jace had been pretty sure at one point when they were close enough together that Alec was going to kiss him. They'd just stared at each other for a minute, then Alec blushed a deep shade of pink and turned away. Jace had smirked and made a comment to the older boy about how he made him nervous and Alec had only blushed a deeper shade of red.

After a particularly tiresome night of training, Jace was a combination of exhausted and irritated. Alec came back into the tent after having gone down to the river to rinse off a little bit, his dry shirt in his hand. Jace let his eyes rake over the muscles of his back, the dark runes etched into his best friend's skin. When Alec turned to look at him, he didn't move his eyes to pretend like he hadn't been staring, instead grinning, his gold eyes glowing in the dim light of the lantern in the center of the tent.

"All clean?" Jace asked.

"For the most part." Alec replied, quirking an eyebrow at him, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jace raised a light eyebrow in response, "Like what?"

"Like.. well, like Magnus does right when I get-"

"Who cares about Magnus." Jace cut him off with a roll of his eyes.

Both of Alec's eyebrows shot up, "Why does it sound like I just offended you?"

Jace didn't dignify that with a response. Magnus was powerful and all, and he'd helped them on more than one occasion where they really needed help, but that didn't mean he had to like the guy. Okay so maybe in a normal circumstance he should have like him, but Jace never really considered himself normal in any right. He was quiet for a moment, turning over where he was laying on his sleeping bag so his back was to Alec. He thought back to the last time he had been in Idris before this time. Everything that had gone on with Sebastian and Valentine. Jace had _died_. His brows came together in thought for a moment. He really ever hadn't talked to Alec about that. At this point he knew it had happened, but it hadn't even been Jace who had told him.

"Remember the last time we were here?" Jace asked conversationally.

Alec was silent for a moment and Jace turned back over again to actually see him. Alec's dark brow was furrowed, his blue eyes seeming to scrutinize the blonde boy in front of him.

"How could I not? There was a war." He noted.

"And I died." Jace added.

The dark haired boy had been in the middle of sliding into his sleeping bag beside Jace, reaching toward the lantern to shut it off, but he paused a moment and winced. Jace kinked a brow.

"What would you have done, if Clary hadn't brought me back?" he asked curiously.

"Clary did bring you back, we have nothing to talk about." Alec said quietly, clicking off the lantern.

Jace scooted closer to him and Alec tensed a little bit. He was always more nervous than he needed to be. He hesitated a moment before asking the question that was running through his mind. He had heard that parabatai could feel it when their other half died, but he had never actually known anyone who had undergone that to ask to verify that that was actually truth. If it was though, that would have meant that when Jace had died, Alec would have felt it.

"Did you know? Before you found out a couple months ago I mean." Jace said.

"That you were dead?" Alec replied.

Jace only gave a nod as a response. Alec stayed silent for a moment, staring up at the top of the tent. Jace's eyes traced over the defined line of his jaw, the way he looked so lost in his thoughts. Then finally Alec turned onto his side to face him, their faces only about half a foot apart.

"It was strange," Alec started softly, "I remember standing with Magnus, we were surrounded by demons and all of the sudden.. I couldn't feel anything. I blinked and there was this painful white light everywhere. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe right. It felt almost like I was drowning I guess, like there was this weight in my chest and it wouldn't go away. It was kind of terrifying."

Jace's hand instinctively reached out to take his best friend's, lacing their fingers together. Alec didn't pull away, in fact his grip squeezed tighter and his eyes closed slowly.

"I came to again in the Hall of Accords, my parents were standing over me, Isabelle looked like she was about ready to kill me. She even had the gull to yell at me. 'Alexander Lightwood, don't you _ever _do something like that again.'"

Jace laughed quietly at Alec's mocking tone towards his sister. The blonde inched a little closer, still holding onto Alec's hand.

"I think she was just scared she'd lost her other brother." Alec whispered.

Jace winced. Max was still a sensitive subject, for him and the Lightwoods.

"I couldn't explain to anyone what had happened, they all looked at me like I was insane when I kept telling them I didn't know what had happened. I sat up and there was this…" he trailed off and paused, pursing his lips thoughtfully.

Jace swallowed and nodded his head to encourage Alec to continue even though the boy's eyes were still closed and he couldn't see the nod.

"I'm not sure how to explain it. It was just like this whisper, all it said was goodbye, then I just felt sick to my stomach." Alec opened his eyes again finally, "Then about ten minutes later I nearly passed out again, I'd assume that was about the time you came back. Felt like I'd just had a boulder dropped on my chest. Then it was gone just as quick as it had come and.. it was weird because, after that, I felt like I could breathe better than after I'd woken up the first time. I know how weird it sounds-"

"It doesn't sound weird." Jace reassured him softly.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, the moon's glow through the sides of the tent their only light. Alec swallowed thickly and let his eyes wander down to where their hands were still linked together.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jace nodded once, "Anything."

A small smile tugged up the corners of Alec's mouth.

"Don't go dying on me again anytime soon?" Alec responded.

Jace felt a small smirk form on his own face as he scooted a couple inches closer to Alec again. Alec tensed again, but didn't move. There were only a couple inches in between their faces now. Jace met his eyes the best he could in the darkness and nodded.

"I promise you Alec, I will do my best not to leave you again." He said quietly, the seriousness not lost in the softness of his tone.

Alec hesitated a moment, seeming to be nervous about the motion, but gently draped the arm that wasn't occupied with holding Jace's hand around the other boy beside him. Jace's crooked smirk worked its way into a smile and he place his other hand gently on the side of Alec's face, brushing his thumb along the defined cheekbone. He touched their foreheads together, shutting his eyes gently. He couldn't say he was surprised when he felt Alec's lips press to the corner of his mouth. It was only for an instant, but it was enough to make the older boy's cheek blush beneath Jace's hand. Jace fluttered his eyes open to look at him, but he had closed his eyes now. There was a moment of silence, the two staying in that close embrace with each other. Jace closed his eyes again, feeling the exhaustion he had been feeling not long before hit him again. The last thing he remembered hearing before giving in to sleep was Alec's nearly silent whisper of "Thank you, Jace."


End file.
